1. |
The Sorting
03:06
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All my best friends were made through statements of flaw.
If I had seemed well, would I have found them at all?
I can blot out a mark or blur how I move,
But distance breeds when seeking these solutions.
I bind my worth to marking all of my actions
Right or not right -- then masking half of these.
I chase the safety that sorting sometimes can bring
By pushing out friends just trying to see me.
I praise the makers whose trades stay disconnected
From filters of fault, and speak a weakness loud.
I chase creation, but my head seeks corrections
To shit that I share
It rules what is allowed.
All my best friends were found through statements of flaw.
If I had seemed well, would I have found them at all?
You can blot out a mark or blur how you move,
But distance breeds when seeking these solutions.
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2. |
Ornamental
03:35
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My brother waits on the driveway
With his short pants and a suitcase
I'm in the window, and I'm about five
So I don't recall that our dad does not arrive
My mother gave me her journals
There's a daily log of drug use, but no internals
I'm on the pages, and I seem fine
But the lines remind that my track goes a ways back
The difference between my family and me
Isn't as great as therapy can let it seem
History makes you ornamental
So dwell in the days where you can change even just a little bit
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3. |
Transplanting
03:55
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Hey Adrian
We had your going away
As a secret show in your Mission place
Before SF decayed
We were blown away
By tunes the special guest played
He sang of white plains and Romanian names
And once we'd gone,
You and Megan danced alone
To a mix including Marvin Gaye
So of course she cried
Over limits left on time
And the fact you could have stayed
Hey Adrian
I've made these movements you make
I know the floating when the root ball doesn't take
But all I could say
In a flat with lights turning on
And people leaving is, We'll message when you're gone.
But really, it's not tough for us to keep you
In a circuit that's growing past San Fran
I'd guess your heaviness gets somewhat easier to stow
If you go
Carrying the folk
You learned here
And believe that mobile favor
Is connection you can cash anytime for free
Even if you move to southern tips of continents
If you ebb, someone can see
Even once you move to southern tips of continents
When you ebb, someone can see.
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4. |
Fortified Light
04:00
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I slip out of work and climb Potrero Hill
And I calm down in the 4pm light
A cup of wine, a couple gin and tonics will
Lay me out at a fortified height
I slip down from home to find some other means
To turn the valves on my fortified place
I plumb down a ways and hate the maze I see
And choose to move towards fortified ways
We all know the chase of heart improvement when tamping clatter.
I'm trusting the head to tell that place instead,
You don't have to grow to prove to me you get to feel okay.
There is time and space for hard improvement in cagey matters.
So trust in the head to tell that place again,
You don't have to grow to prove to me you get to feel okay.
You get to feel okay.
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5. |
Bend
04:06
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Boomers were raised by broken folk who weren't taught to
Scan your insides much through to share what scares you
They manufactured kids from distance
They manufactured kids with distance
Without the love their parents hid, the boomers chased for bliss
Smoking pot, having kids, declaring any way they live
Is fine if it feels good
You're fine as long as you feel good
Any age you move through doesn't necessarily mean
You'll bend in ways that follow some generation's rules
To be, to be, to be okay
The problem with life like you please is how inconsistent it seems
To millennials who keep needs from boomers who often feel to me
As distant as their parents
I'd like not to receive their shit inheritance because I hope
Any age you move through doesn't necessarily mean
You'll bend in ways that follow some generation's rules
This age you move through doesn't necessarily need
You to bend in ways that follow some generation's rules
To be, to be, to be okay
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6. |
Internal Operations
04:05
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Sometimes, reminders you're alright don't really help
They chide the side of you that shares your fears of health
There's no logic sharp enough to make it leave
Why not invite it in and see where it might lead?
The body mentions solutions that it needs
Our minds will try responding complicatedly
We're just shaky Jenga towers with those plans
Why not abandon them and see where pieces land?
Internal operations overwhelm our goals
Of filling in our holes alone and hating aid when it goes poorly
So if I push away, will you push towards me back?
I am used to choosing distance from all assistance where my scares attack
They're replicating now
I've been hatching them somehow
I'm electing not to stay their incubator
They cut me low today
I'm electing not to stay an incubator
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7. |
Steady
03:39
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I withered when you spoke your mind it wasn't right.
I called the quiet empathy it wasn't right.
You seeking me is a fire that I end when I, afraid,
Cannot say, "There is safety more in sharing than in shade."
I gathered silence as a kid, and it endures --
The silence isn't good or bad, but now it's yours.
When we're at sea, I am much more of a ballast than a sail
Cause I learned love as keeping others steady when they fail.
You seeking me is a fire that I end when I, afraid,
Cannot say, "There is safety more in sharing than in shade."
When at sea, I am much more of a ballast than a sail,
But know this: that my love will keep you steady if you fail.
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8. |
Inner Givens
03:46
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I am two months from the news removed.
There's been silence in my veins
I've assumed I couldn't change.
I am too much from the news removed.
I've been viewing issues aired
As too big for me to bear,
Hoping folk'll just breed
Equity in time without me.
But they don't now
So we must congregate and say a little louder:
I can scan a muted mind
In a complicated time
To fight a quiet that might
Calm my inside but carve society.
And I'll bring ears and heart around
While ya face down
Older inner givens you can notice
And check you're right about.
We can scan the muted mind
In a complicated time
And radiate the themes that
Haunt the inside and harm society.
There's a point to staying loud,
Even face down
In choruses of givens now on notice
We feel messed up about,
But celebrate when growth does tumble out.
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9. |
Work Around
04:48
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When you settle into daily grinds,
Does the work around you help you feel alive?
Does it justify carrying worry?
Is your health dependent on moves occurring?
With shit you finish and skills you hone,
Must the execution be performed alone?
Do you quail when others wanna help you tow
The load you feel is better handled on your own?
I can only ask because my act is playing out the same,
And I think our distance can create the weight that shakes help.
So would you say,
Even though we knowingly overload plates,
There are workarounds to put in place
That can maybe interrupt these solo ways?
I compelled to ask because I'm done with playing it the same,
And I think that sharing shakes the weight that makes us hate help.
Even when you are silent, your posture broadcasts.
I slump those shoulders, I knit that brow, skirting community.
The weight makes it feel like you can't be empathized with, skirting community.
I know how craft and task can ravage plans of ending skirting community.
Skirting community.
I know because I've spent awhile playing it the same,
And I think that sharing shakes the weight that makes us hate help.
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10. |
Volition
02:48
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There's this way I've got to work:
By believing our productions are why we exist.
And ropes and rails are necessary tools
To keep us doing stuff we have to.
So, so many days, I betray
How my bones want a wandering
Down, down I have ground the wing of me
That has stuck close to wondering
If I'll become the rails
Or if I'll choose to bail.
I've been learning that my work
Is better when my pieces can speak as they please.
But ropes and rails still seem necessary
When acting on volition still seems scary.
So -- though, many days, I betrayed
How my bones wanted wandering --
Down, now, I allow the wing of me
That has stuck close to wondering
If I'll become the rails
It helps me choose to bail.
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